How to Control Your Negative Feelings

We've all been there before; there are times when you have good days and bad days, and it almost always seems effortless to stay positive on our good days -- but what about our bad days? Is it effortless to stay negative?

Actually, it takes more energy usage to be negative and stay negative, than it does when you naturally feel happy. Think about it; on a bad day you may frown (it takes energy to scrunch up your face), you may throw something (it takes energy to physically throw things), you may curse someone out (it takes energy to yell and scream), or you may just sulk in your own misery which causes all kinds of negative -- and at times evil thoughts to occur.

Once you begin spiraling into the abyss of dark negative energy, it takes that much more energy just to pull yourself out of the slump that YOU created; that's right, no one else created it for you but YOU.

It never feels good to feel bad which is why more often than not -- people prefer to be and stay happy. Some people equate happiness with love, or material things, or opportunities, or getting your way, and we almost always forget to equate happiness with waking up everyday, or being blessed with good health, or having unfettered access to clean water, or not being hungry, or being grateful for having a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs -- you know...the simple things that would be absolutely detrimental if we didn't have them.

Life is complicated yes, and we will always have obstacles as obstacles are inevitable -- however, when you find yourself going to the "dark place" for whatever the reason may be -- just remember that there are other people who have it way worse than you and the fact that you woke up in a bed, under a roof, with food, water and energy to get your day started...should be enough to put a smile on your face while thanking the lord above for giving you a chance to try, try, try again.

For me faith and my spiritual guiders is what steers me clear of negativity when I feel it coming on. If you're a person who isn't a faith believer, maybe meditation would suit you well -- because it's literally a calming process that will allow your negative feelings to dissipate, while giving you complete solace in your ability to make it through to the next day.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2014 LA

PERSONAL TESTIMONY FOR A HOOD TALKS

When I started A HOOD TALKS, it was in response to an Illinois Senator by the name of Barack Hussein Obama and although I had never heard of this man or followed Americas political agenda — his words and the way he delivered them stuck with me and I was formally introduced to the political process, and why it was so important for people like me to get involved.

Never before did I realize how much power the average American had with regards to how things worked in Washington, and I didn’t comprehend how government exercised authority so getting involved was the last thing on my mind. I REGARDED THE WHITE HOUSE AS SOMETHING THAT “WHITE PEOPLE” RAN AND THOUGHT MY VERY EXISTENCE WAS RESTRICTED TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD IN WHICH I LIVED.I regarded The White House as something that “white people” ran and thought my very existence was restricted to the neighborhood in which I lived. Although I’ve always dreamed very big it would seem that my family and “my hood” was it; everything I’d become and all that I’d learn could fit neatly into a small box.

It wasn’t until college, that I comprehended there was way more to life than just “my hood” and that big dreams can indeed come true. As I sought out opportunities on enormous scales in college and after college, eventually “life” happened in a way I had never experienced it before; discrimination, racism, sexism and inequality would leave me with wounds that deeply scarred my foundation — causing it to remain shaken and unstable for a long time.

My open wounds triggered anger and resentment, in which I thought it was impossible to ever regain back that childlike purity again. Moreover, I wasn’t given certain tools by my parents that would’ve helped me navigate through the perils of life, as they were so consumed with struggle, survival and anger towards their oppressors which hindered my “life” education. I was a sheep walking amidst wolves and because I was blind to this fact, “my person” became easy prey.

Fast forward to 2008, when the possibility of having our first black president in the history of the United States seemed to wake up sleeping giants (myself included), and intrigued America enough to pay attention to the political atmosphere. It also triggered me to read a lot of history books, as I became extremely curious about Americas racial plight and why 43 presidents later we were just voting in our first black Commander-in-Chief; granted I was fully aware of racism by this point but like I expressed earlier, I just assumed The White House was for white people because that had been the status quo.

Gaining knowledge of American and international history completely blew my mind, and all the dots began connecting like a jigsaw puzzle.

I was not only overcome with emotion and at times anger due to discovering in detail how we all came to be in America, but I also incurred a fundamental understanding of my place in history and why it was so important to make sure that Barack Obama was elected as our next president; not just because he was black but because he comprehended my struggle — our struggle, and his vision and mission was something I strongly believed in. Thus, A HOOD TALKS was born and my political fire was forever lit.THUS, A HOOD TALKS WAS BORN AND MY POLITICAL FIRE WAS FOREVER LIT.

As I acquired community organizing skills by partaking in the election and re-election of President Obama, I veered off course into other topics that interested me such as LGBTQ issues, celebrity gossip and out-of-the-box meanderings. In doing so I’ve learned a great deal about life but most recently I’ve learned, that just because I may have an opinion about something it doesn’t necessarily mean that I should always voice it.

Sometimes just being informed is enough and although many of my articles can be deemed as “controversial”, I still wouldn’t delete any of them because they’re testament to how far I’ve come with my mental evolution.

However, moving forward I’ll try to be less controversial — still opinionated yes, but more inclined to empower verses dis-empower because the latter can be contagious, and I’m at a point in my life where even though I want to keep you thinking I also want to make you feel good in the process. Executing my purpose in life means leading by example tenfold, and not simply half-assing it.

Thank you to all my old and new readers for riding with me, and I hope you’ll stick around for more creative wordplay coming at you from my “neck of the hood.”

#AHT #Testimony #FindingMyVoice #UpFromHere #Ephiphany #LifeLessons

2015 LA

Is AD/HD an Excuse for Poor Parenting?

Have you ever watched the OWN network?

It's an incredibly thoughtful television station geared towards teaching useful life lessons, that of course houses other shows for entertainment purposes.

One show in particular that I found compelling was a Lisa Ling special on 'Our America', where Lisa tackled the hard questions about children who suffer from the diagnosis of AD/HD or 'Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder'. During the special, I watched the suffering children closely and listened to their stories given by themselves and their parent/s.

One child would impulsively act out in school, calling himself a "f*cking stupid idiot" while calling his teacher a "f*cking b*tch". This kind of behavior was acted out by a child who was only a kindergartner at the time, and immediately I wanted to question the single mother who was raising the child. I wanted to ask where did her son learn such language, and how did he know the way in which to put those words together? But no one ever asked the mother these questions, instead the child was blamed for simply having a mental condition that needed correcting. He received medication that made him sick to the point of vomiting and when that didn't work, his mother found a program at the Hunter School which concentrated on a holistic approach to helping her son....and it worked.

Another child who appeared to be super intelligent was also told that he suffered from AD/HD, because he had difficulty focusing on his homework and almost always had to do something to stay busy. The boy constantly squirmed in his chair and his hands were almost always moving. The child expressed how his mind moved quickly as he thought about many things at one time which hindered his focus. The mother made her son aware that he had an issue that could only be treated with medical attention, and she took the necessary steps to get her son medication for his "condition". Once the child received the medication that he was told would help him, within an hour he was able to focus his attention on one thing at a time.

A third child was the youngest of four teenage siblings and had been using AD/HD medication for some time, after his parents deemed him to be to impulsive. The parents explained that the medication was a temporary fix to their youngest sons problem, but was glad that it allowed him to function and focus well in school. Both parents are educators and raising five children; immediately I wondered if the youngest fifth child simply lacked much needed attention since his parents carried quite a load; the load being students, paperwork, four teenagers, and the job of being husband and wife. All of that coupled together with any extra curricular activities could leave a young child feeling neglected and alone -- hence, the reason for impulsive behavior.

I'm not a doctor nor do I pretend to be and I do believe that there are children who may have disabilities that need medical attention, however when I saw these kids and honed in on their family environments it triggered red alerts for me -- and not in the way that the parents were triggered.

Instead of seeing an ill child, I saw a child being raised by a single mother who was obviously stressed from the pressure of being a single mother, working to make ends meet and probably not having enough energy to spend raising her child.

And in the case of the two parent household, I saw adults being spread thin by trying to meet all their deadlines and probably hoping that their eldest teenagers could lend a helping hand with their youngest sibling. But when you're a teenager, how often do you really want to spend time with your baby brother? Take it from me, my eldest brother hated having to take me with him everywhere just because my mother made him, and most of the time he simply dropped me off somewhere else without my mother knowing, therefore, leaving me neglected and vulnerable to predators.

I once had a friend who has two children (a boy and a girl) and she constantly screamed at them, and as she would throw her yelling fits coupled with profanity she made it her business to tell her children how stupid they were -- and that they had AD/HD which made them crazy. These children acted out like animals, were hyper impulsive and couldn't keep still. I babysat them multiple times and never once did I have to yell, curse, or demean them with horrible words, I simply talked to them and was patient with them which seemed to calm the children down. And never once did I need to give them their medication while under my watch.

Their mom was also a single mother who was struggling to make ends meet, and who was constantly stressed out by her relationship with her boyfriend. I understood her pressures which is why I offered a hand in helping with the kids; my household was calm and my reaction towards the children was quite different, which often made them not want to leave my home.

My experience with AD/HD children wasn't that they needed medication or mental help, they needed quality time in a calming environment that praised, encouraged, and empowered them. They needed to understand their feelings so that it'd be easier to cope, and they needed brain stimulating activities to keep them busy. 

As parents, sometimes it's easy to forget that children begin their learning journey from birth, and that children literally soak up everything that they see and hear. Words carry tremendous weight and if used improperly it could traumatize children, to the point of impulsive behavior. Neglection is another traumatic thing that can isolate a child -- leaving them to raise themselves which they don't know enough to do that and ultimately, bad habits can ensue.

Parents come from all walks of life and have different educational backgrounds, which believe it or not can play a huge part in how your child is raised. We teach what we know, and I praise those parents that do try to seek out help for their children when they notice that something isn't right. But it isn't always that your kid has a mental issue, sometimes it's just that the parents don't know how to be parents or simply don't have enough time to be the best parents that they can be.

And instead of being so quick to medicate your child, step

back and take a look at yourselves and ask the question "Am I doing enough" or "Am I doing something wrong?" Nobody likes to be told how to raise their child, but sometimes a parenting class can do a world of wonder.

My motto is: If you want to be a parent, first practice with getting a puppy (not a cat because cats are self-sufficient), not a dog, but a puppy because it hasn't been molded yet -- and however that puppy turns out is a direct reflection of how you raised it. If you can train your puppy to be calm, potty trained, to learn and obey, then you could be well on your way to being a great parent. But if you can't train your puppy to do these things then you should make proper changes, in order to make sure that you're on the right parenting track. 

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2014 LA

Are You A Moveable Game Piece?

Do you ever feel like a "moveable" game piece in this country that we call America? What do I mean?

-You walk to the beat of your own drum, but you play by somebody else's rules.

-You live your own life, yet your life can be affected depending upon who's in power.

-You feel free until you realize that you were born into a systematic structure purposely put in place to create failure, restricting your freedom even while still in the womb.

-You try to better yourself everyday although there's a

possibility of you walking amongst wolves -- dressed in sheep's clothing. And not knowing the latter, can leave one vulnerable to predators that prey on innocent and gullible victims.
  

If you feel like a "moveable" game piece then you're probably one who's aware of your environment, and if you don't feel like a "moveable" object within someones "Wheel O' Life" game, it means you're either very well off....or simply walking in blind illusion.

The Things That make You Go Hmmmmm...
 

2014 LA

V. Stiviano Shares Her Former Beaus' Views?

V. Stiviano, the woman that use to be in the center of Donald Sterlings world until a secret racist recording ousted the former NBA Clippers owner from the league, recently had her own racist recording leaked and it would seem that she shares some of the same views as her former beau.

While referencing black people Stiviano stated, "I don't understand black people. You give them a little bit of money, they don't know what to do with it" and "[Black people] just act crazy ... they're like, 'Yo, I wanna put extra rims on top of my rims. And my rims are gonna turn around. I'm gonna call them spinners.' "

When asked for comment by USAToday, Stiviano's response to the tape was only: “No direct comment. Have a beautiful day."
 

Although everyone is entitled to their own opinion about black people, Stiviano shouldn't generalize a race of folks based on her own small-minded assumptions; is she also talking about herself since she is also black?

Regarding the mistresses statement about "blacks not knowing what to do with money"; just like any other race of people -- children usually grow up with the knowledge instilled in them by their parents and sometimes if a parent doesn't know better then they won't do better, and as a result neither will their children. If a child is raised in an educated household and/or an entrepreneurial household, then it is almost certain that that child will grow up with the necessary survival tools needed to gain opportunity.
 

Black people crooning over material things like "rims" as Stiviano stated, aren't the only race of people that croon over material items. 

And being mixed race Stiviano should know herself as she has acquired a $1.8 million dollar home along with a slew of luxury automobiles, that were gifted to her by her former boyfriend Donald Sterling. And although not everybody wishes to exploit themselves sexually in order to get ahead in life -- hence, V. Stiviano, it doesn't make her comments about the black race (her race) sound any better.

Just because you choose to use your genitalia to acquire wealth doesn't give you the right to talk down to black people as if you yourself aren't black; did dating Donald Sterling make you forget your race, Ms. Stiviano? And judging by your facial transitions, I'd say you probably did forget.

You shouldn't be so quick to shun because when Mrs. Sterling is done dealing with you in court, you may find yourself running "back home" to the safe haven of the black community, in which you should only hope that we'll be accepting.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2014 LA

Grandad Freeman Dates a Kardashian on The Boondocks

Have you ever watched the cartoon series on the Adult Swim network titled, The Boondocks? 

The episodes chronicle a grandfather by the name of Robert Freeman, who takes care of his two grandson's Huey and Riley; one that's a troublemaker and the other who's more politically driven. 

Normally, the extended family has encounters with other hilarious characters throughout the entire season, but in this particular episode the Freeman's happen to encounter a few "Kardashians" along the way -- with the grandfather actually dating one of the Kardashian sisters. Can you guess which one?

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2014 LA

Everyone Walks With Different Eyes...

Everyone walks with different eyes, capturing the photogenic moments that make up our existence -- everyday.

Some moments we have in common, connecting us as forever brothers and sisters in this microcosm of race mixed confusion that we call world.

Our experiences depict how light or dark we "see"

things, and colors usually coincide with our feelings, ie, happy=Yellow; sad=Blue; Angry=Red.

If we stay the same and know self-growth occurs it reduces our life's progress, as a result our vision also remains the same and our progress stagnate; like you're at a Red light (stop) waiting for it to turn Green (go). How much of your life are you willing to waste at the Red light?

However, pushing past the Red light of limitations using your experiences and/or passion to do it, ensures your ability to see things new and different.

Even if you're not sure where the new experiences will take you, the passion that drives you to want to figure it out -- will almost always steer you exactly where you're supposed to be, therefore increasing opportunity and your chances of evolving with a rejuvenated pair of eyes; bringing history into the present -- that will almost surely redefine your future.

Think of your eyes as a camera and use them to capture as many special moments of your life's journey as possible. 

#CreateYourJourney

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2014 LA

Does Spiritual Guidance Advice Confuse You?

When leaders and/or people of faith give misinformed individuals advice on how to manifest their dreams, if one isn't spiritual -- will they ever comprehend the true meaning of "making your dreams a reality?"

Have you ever heard sayings like, "If only one can look deep within themselves, you'll find the answers from your soul," Or "If you connect to the universe with your soul, the universe will listen and open up to you?"

For awhile this kind of rhetoric was confusing to me, and although the word usage was incredibly deep and made you wonder for sure -- I still had a hard time connecting to the meaning in order for me to initiate an action.

Afterall, some of us often seek out spiritual guidance as a means of gaining the help we would need to move forward in life, assuming that there are obstacles to difficult too overcome on one's own. But if one isn't in tune to the spiritual realm, it can be pretty confusing to understand to say the least.

Meditation seems to be a way of connecting to spirits (spiritual guiders) on the other side, and intertwining energies in order to produce a "superpower" if you will -- a super human. Because the "universe" is alive and very real in which existence occurs far beyond this earth, it's necessary to understand that things really are bigger than just us.

And I believe spiritual guiders and leaders want us to tap into that other existence, into that other power -- a higher power, in order to bring about that inner artist that will mold and create its destiny with much guided help from the universe. 

~A Hood Talks' Philosophy~

*We're our own artist.

*Our actions determine what events will transpire next. 

*Time is a circle because it never ends, this is why we always have tomorrow to start over again. 

*When we start over we always hope for the best, and then we must put our best foot forward in order to manifest what we want. 

*Recognizing that our spiritual ancestors are with us, guiding us, answering our prayers but also teaching us continuous lessons in life -- from the other side. 

 *It's imperative to acknowledge the spiritual forces that surround us everyday, cheering us on, and loving us with guidance everyday, as we journey on our way to understand what our purpose is in this life; just a hint, it almost always involves helping others.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

2014 LA