Have you ever watched the OWN network?
It's an incredibly thoughtful television station geared towards teaching useful life lessons, that of course houses other shows for entertainment purposes.
One show in particular that I found compelling was a Lisa Ling special on 'Our America', where Lisa tackled the hard questions about children who suffer from the diagnosis of AD/HD or 'Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder'. During the special, I watched the suffering children closely and listened to their stories given by themselves and their parent/s.
One child would impulsively act out in school, calling himself a "f*cking stupid idiot" while calling his teacher a "f*cking b*tch". This kind of behavior was acted out by a child who was only a kindergartner at the time, and immediately I wanted to question the single mother who was raising the child. I wanted to ask where did her son learn such language, and how did he know the way in which to put those words together? But no one ever asked the mother these questions, instead the child was blamed for simply having a mental condition that needed correcting. He received medication that made him sick to the point of vomiting and when that didn't work, his mother found a program at the Hunter School which concentrated on a holistic approach to helping her son....and it worked.
Another child who appeared to be super intelligent was also told that he suffered from AD/HD, because he had difficulty focusing on his homework and almost always had to do something to stay busy. The boy constantly squirmed in his chair and his hands were almost always moving. The child expressed how his mind moved quickly as he thought about many things at one time which hindered his focus. The mother made her son aware that he had an issue that could only be treated with medical attention, and she took the necessary steps to get her son medication for his "condition". Once the child received the medication that he was told would help him, within an hour he was able to focus his attention on one thing at a time.
A third child was the youngest of four teenage siblings and had been using AD/HD medication for some time, after his parents deemed him to be to impulsive. The parents explained that the medication was a temporary fix to their youngest sons problem, but was glad that it allowed him to function and focus well in school. Both parents are educators and raising five children; immediately I wondered if the youngest fifth child simply lacked much needed attention since his parents carried quite a load; the load being students, paperwork, four teenagers, and the job of being husband and wife. All of that coupled together with any extra curricular activities could leave a young child feeling neglected and alone -- hence, the reason for impulsive behavior.
I'm not a doctor nor do I pretend to be and I do believe that there are children who may have disabilities that need medical attention, however when I saw these kids and honed in on their family environments it triggered red alerts for me -- and not in the way that the parents were triggered.
Instead of seeing an ill child, I saw a child being raised by a single mother who was obviously stressed from the pressure of being a single mother, working to make ends meet and probably not having enough energy to spend raising her child.
And in the case of the two parent household, I saw adults being spread thin by trying to meet all their deadlines and probably hoping that their eldest teenagers could lend a helping hand with their youngest sibling. But when you're a teenager, how often do you really want to spend time with your baby brother? Take it from me, my eldest brother hated having to take me with him everywhere just because my mother made him, and most of the time he simply dropped me off somewhere else without my mother knowing, therefore, leaving me neglected and vulnerable to predators.
I once had a friend who has two children (a boy and a girl) and she constantly screamed at them, and as she would throw her yelling fits coupled with profanity she made it her business to tell her children how stupid they were -- and that they had AD/HD which made them crazy. These children acted out like animals, were hyper impulsive and couldn't keep still. I babysat them multiple times and never once did I have to yell, curse, or demean them with horrible words, I simply talked to them and was patient with them which seemed to calm the children down. And never once did I need to give them their medication while under my watch.
Their mom was also a single mother who was struggling to make ends meet, and who was constantly stressed out by her relationship with her boyfriend. I understood her pressures which is why I offered a hand in helping with the kids; my household was calm and my reaction towards the children was quite different, which often made them not want to leave my home.
My experience with AD/HD children wasn't that they needed medication or mental help, they needed quality time in a calming environment that praised, encouraged, and empowered them. They needed to understand their feelings so that it'd be easier to cope, and they needed brain stimulating activities to keep them busy.
It's an incredibly thoughtful television station geared towards teaching useful life lessons, that of course houses other shows for entertainment purposes.
One show in particular that I found compelling was a Lisa Ling special on 'Our America', where Lisa tackled the hard questions about children who suffer from the diagnosis of AD/HD or 'Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder'. During the special, I watched the suffering children closely and listened to their stories given by themselves and their parent/s.
One child would impulsively act out in school, calling himself a "f*cking stupid idiot" while calling his teacher a "f*cking b*tch". This kind of behavior was acted out by a child who was only a kindergartner at the time, and immediately I wanted to question the single mother who was raising the child. I wanted to ask where did her son learn such language, and how did he know the way in which to put those words together? But no one ever asked the mother these questions, instead the child was blamed for simply having a mental condition that needed correcting. He received medication that made him sick to the point of vomiting and when that didn't work, his mother found a program at the Hunter School which concentrated on a holistic approach to helping her son....and it worked.
Another child who appeared to be super intelligent was also told that he suffered from AD/HD, because he had difficulty focusing on his homework and almost always had to do something to stay busy. The boy constantly squirmed in his chair and his hands were almost always moving. The child expressed how his mind moved quickly as he thought about many things at one time which hindered his focus. The mother made her son aware that he had an issue that could only be treated with medical attention, and she took the necessary steps to get her son medication for his "condition". Once the child received the medication that he was told would help him, within an hour he was able to focus his attention on one thing at a time.
A third child was the youngest of four teenage siblings and had been using AD/HD medication for some time, after his parents deemed him to be to impulsive. The parents explained that the medication was a temporary fix to their youngest sons problem, but was glad that it allowed him to function and focus well in school. Both parents are educators and raising five children; immediately I wondered if the youngest fifth child simply lacked much needed attention since his parents carried quite a load; the load being students, paperwork, four teenagers, and the job of being husband and wife. All of that coupled together with any extra curricular activities could leave a young child feeling neglected and alone -- hence, the reason for impulsive behavior.
I'm not a doctor nor do I pretend to be and I do believe that there are children who may have disabilities that need medical attention, however when I saw these kids and honed in on their family environments it triggered red alerts for me -- and not in the way that the parents were triggered.
Instead of seeing an ill child, I saw a child being raised by a single mother who was obviously stressed from the pressure of being a single mother, working to make ends meet and probably not having enough energy to spend raising her child.
And in the case of the two parent household, I saw adults being spread thin by trying to meet all their deadlines and probably hoping that their eldest teenagers could lend a helping hand with their youngest sibling. But when you're a teenager, how often do you really want to spend time with your baby brother? Take it from me, my eldest brother hated having to take me with him everywhere just because my mother made him, and most of the time he simply dropped me off somewhere else without my mother knowing, therefore, leaving me neglected and vulnerable to predators.
I once had a friend who has two children (a boy and a girl) and she constantly screamed at them, and as she would throw her yelling fits coupled with profanity she made it her business to tell her children how stupid they were -- and that they had AD/HD which made them crazy. These children acted out like animals, were hyper impulsive and couldn't keep still. I babysat them multiple times and never once did I have to yell, curse, or demean them with horrible words, I simply talked to them and was patient with them which seemed to calm the children down. And never once did I need to give them their medication while under my watch.
Their mom was also a single mother who was struggling to make ends meet, and who was constantly stressed out by her relationship with her boyfriend. I understood her pressures which is why I offered a hand in helping with the kids; my household was calm and my reaction towards the children was quite different, which often made them not want to leave my home.
My experience with AD/HD children wasn't that they needed medication or mental help, they needed quality time in a calming environment that praised, encouraged, and empowered them. They needed to understand their feelings so that it'd be easier to cope, and they needed brain stimulating activities to keep them busy.
As parents, sometimes it's easy to forget that children begin their learning journey from birth, and that children literally soak up everything that they see and hear. Words carry tremendous weight and if used improperly it could traumatize children, to the point of impulsive behavior. Neglection is another traumatic thing that can isolate a child -- leaving them to raise themselves which they don't know enough to do that and ultimately, bad habits can ensue.
Parents come from all walks of life and have different educational backgrounds, which believe it or not can play a huge part in how your child is raised. We teach what we know, and I praise those parents that do try to seek out help for their children when they notice that something isn't right. But it isn't always that your kid has a mental issue, sometimes it's just that the parents don't know how to be parents or simply don't have enough time to be the best parents that they can be.
And instead of being so quick to medicate your child, step
Parents come from all walks of life and have different educational backgrounds, which believe it or not can play a huge part in how your child is raised. We teach what we know, and I praise those parents that do try to seek out help for their children when they notice that something isn't right. But it isn't always that your kid has a mental issue, sometimes it's just that the parents don't know how to be parents or simply don't have enough time to be the best parents that they can be.
And instead of being so quick to medicate your child, step
My motto is: If you want to be a parent, first practice with getting a puppy (not a cat because cats are self-sufficient), not a dog, but a puppy because it hasn't been molded yet -- and however that puppy turns out is a direct reflection of how you raised it. If you can train your puppy to be calm, potty trained, to learn and obey, then you could be well on your way to being a great parent. But if you can't train your puppy to do these things then you should make proper changes, in order to make sure that you're on the right parenting track.
The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...
2014 LA
