It's A Hard Knock Life...

Have you ever found life to be hard at times? 

Struggles in life we usually call obstacles and as humans we should all understand that nothing comes easy therefore, we should be willing to work hard to achieve greatness. 

But what if working hard to achieve greatness is blocked by a system; a system which perpetuates exploitation of a particular group of people? Because this system exists, it can make it unimaginably difficult to have success.

Yesterday the retail giant Target made the news yet again, but this time discrimination against the LGBTQ community wasn't on their agenda. Nope. This time discrimination against Hispanics were on their agenda. 

The Huffington Post reported a discrimination lawsuit against Target, by three of its former employees who were fired as a retaliation tactic. Robert Gonzalez, Bulmaro Fabian, and Pedro Garcia-Ayala, claim in the suit that their supervisors were nearly all Caucasian who frequently used racial slurs when talking to Hispanic employees. 

Gonzalez says that when he went to human resources to report this problem his bosses retaliated, and he and Fabian and Garcia-Ayala were eventually fired. 

According to the complaint Target, gave its distribution warehouse managers a document titled "Organization Effectiveness, Employee, and Labor Relations Multi-Cultural Tips", which featured suggestions on how to manage Hispanic employees. The tips addressed a variety of Hispanic stereotypes from music, to food, to clothing.

The document stated the following according to the lawsuit:

a. Food: not everyone eats tacos and burritos;

b. Music: not everyone dances to salsa;

c. Dress: not everyone wears a sombrero;

d. Mexicans (lower education level, some may be undocumented);

e. Cubans (Political refugees, legal status, higher education level); and

f. They may say 'OK, OK' and pretend to understand, when they do not, just to save face.

This isn't the first nor will it be the last time that a retail giant decides to use a "Paula Deen-esque" work environment, to manage their employees. Because those at the top promote and teach their colleagues to be discriminatory towards those at the bottom, this only continues to breed a negative and destructive cycle which in turn promises that hate towards minority groups will always exist. 

How does one expect to achieve greatness and/or success with such a road block in the way?

Well, because of these major road blocks, detours, obstacles, and struggles, our faith and help from others will

always be a guiding force to achieve greatness. And because we must be exceptional or we just won't be, giving up should never be an option. Yes it's hard, yes we get weak, yes we become fearful, and yes we can even get depressed, but our faith is what eventually snaps us out of complacency and rejuvenates us to carry on. It must, because without faith it becomes easier for the world to chew you up and spit you out. But by channeling that negative energy into a positive, you can guarantee your success because you're the one steering the destiny wheel. Just don't ever give up. 

Gonzalez, Fabian, and Garcia-Ayala, were correct in defending their rights and by doing so they're also defending other Hispanics' rights. They're heroes because being the little guys, it takes courage to fight against a wealthy corporation that has no qualms about replacing you -- especially since you're not a person you're just a number to them. These men could very well have families to feed but took a stand anyway for justice. That's commendable.

My question is: "How can we expect minority groups to ever advance within corporations, if corporations purposely have a "system" in place to block any future success?" 

My answer? "Become your own boss. Everybody's good at something; use that."

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2013 LA

Twitter Boy Sparks Backlash As He Generalizes All Black Women To Be Difficult

Recently on twitter, a black man posted tweets referring to all black women as difficult and demanding, verses the white women that he dates. 

I'm sure you can imagine how many feathers he rustled by making these comments, but it made me stop to look at my past experiences in dating. Had I ever been called difficult by a partner? Yes. But I only attribute it to certain instances and for specific reasons.

Life experiences have definitely showed me that the color of my skin, my gender, and even the depth of my knowledge, can limit my opportunities in America. Discrimination, sexual harassment, disrespect, physical and verbal abuse, and retaliation, make up my experiences with certain people and certain employers. However, my wake up call of how the "real world" is -- was through my many places of employment.

Getting my first job at the age of 13 years old, I wasn't prepared for the differences in personalities outside of my family and close friends.

I knew people were different but I always assumed everyone shared the same common core values of niceness, fairness, manners, and respect for others. One thing that I learned, is to never expect anyone to be nice to you just because you're nice to them.

Negative experiences in my life often left me with a tiny chip on my shoulder, but the good experiences seemed to outweigh the bad (or that's how I chose to view it), but both opposites taught me meaningful lessons and truly opened my eyes to what the real world looked like. 

Absolutely, it was difficult to deal with hurt and pain that formed from the negative moments -- but I chose to view them just as that; a bunch of bad moments that occurred every now and again. If certain periods of time didn't happen I wouldn't be who I am today. 

I'd rather be aware of worldly things because to not be, only means hindering your life long learning process. The more aware you are, the more you have a better view of where you're going.

Certain lessons learned may have made me sharper, wiser, aware, aggressive, and yes at times "difficult", but it comes from a place of pain. The pain of the struggles endured to get to where I am today, makes me damned determined to keep fighting for it! Fighting isn't easy but since I'm not a quitter, fighting seems to be the only option.

So to the guy on twitter generalizing all black women as "difficult" and "demanding", just remember that our stories are different. We come from all walks of life, are actually a mixture of races (if you want to get technical), and probably have more in common then we have differences.

Try to understand a sista before placing judgement and usually, communication is all it takes.

Communicate witcha girls bruh!

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2013 LA

LOVE and HATE

We can not move forward in society if a Conservative minority, will do whatever necessary to stop the Democratic majority. 

Let me rephrase that by taking can not out of the equation, because history strongly suggests otherwise. Throughout the years our prejudices and judgements of one another, have long fueled our strongest battles within the United States.

Though these battles still exist, somehow the severity of these obstacles have lessened with each decade that passes. We're beginning to LOVE more than we HATE.

To some it may seem as if HATE takes center stage more often than not due to the recent senseless tragedies that have occurred, but only because tragedy wants a show whereas love doesn't need one.

Because love can be humble and peaceful, people often take it for granted or take its silence as weakness. But love explodes in places unimaginable and can submerge the hardest of hearts.

We're almost there!

The more we work together and sacrifice together, the more we fight our battles together and unite as one around a common sense greater good, the better chance we stand to erode evil and the horrific and loud tragedies associated with it. 

Prayers to Boston, Newtown, Aurora, Oklahoma, Chicago, Columbine and Waco, and to all the countless and nameless faces that also fell victim to such atrocities; we stand with you, we sympathize and empathize with your pain, and above all we love you!

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2013 LA

Gang Colors Or Political Colors?

Having a recent conversation about the Bloods and Crips gang members, it just dawned on me that the territorial red and blue colors affiliated with these particular gang members, are the same red and blue colors used by Republicans and Democrats in The White House.  

Coincidence maybe? Or is there some underlying story yet to be discovered about a connection between the two?

I'll keep you posted.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

Atlanta Pastor Arrested After Infecting Women With The HIV Virus

Pastor Craig Lamar Davis (seen above), of Full Gospel Baptist Church in Clayton County, GA, was arrested after a woman by the name of Ronita McAfee, came forward telling her story of how the pastor knowingly infected her with the HIV virus! 

Click here for the story in its entirety.  

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

My Dominican Salon Natural Hair Horror Story

In June I headed back home to my native state of New Jersey, to check on my grandmother who had fallen ill. While there I decided to make a visit to my all time favorite Dominican hair salon to get my ends trimmed however, I wasn't prepared for the "new" experience that awaited me. 

I entered the Dominican Unisex hair salon and walked to the front desk, making the owner (a Dominican guy) aware of what type of hair care I required for the day. He didn't greet me with a smile but instead a look of annoyance, as I struggled to understand what he was saying above the music, blow dryers, and women chatting. This same man use to greet me with a smile for years when I came in for service, and I wasn't sure why today would be any different. "Maybe he had a bad day," I thought to myself. 

Because I couldn't understand what he was saying eventually he just stopped talking and instead starred at me. After a minute he suggested I get a relaxer to which I told him that I didn't need a relaxer, and that I just needed a wash, blow out, and trim. I took my hair out of the bun it was in and he saw my length to price, and agreed that I didn't need a relaxer. Reiterating, I told him that relaxers break my hair so I stay far away from them. 

After receiving my ticket which told the beauticians what to do, I was taken to the back of the salon to have my hair washed. At this point I'm super excited because I often enjoyed having my hair scrubbed  and conditioned at this particular salon. I hadn't had my hair professionally done in so long that I was giddy to see the ending results. 

After taking my seat at the wash chair and laying back comfortably, the washer proceeded to wash my hair. As she drenched my mane with water I felt my natural curls beginning to coil. She washed it three times and combed through it with no hesitation, and no issues with tangling.

A short red-headed Dominican beautician walked up to my chair, making me aware that she would be servicing me for the day. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing with her, but her smile faded quickly when she peered over the wash bowl to see my natural curly hair. Immediately, she began cursing in Spanish -- using the word "mala" meaning bad, and slang Spanish curse words that I learned growing up. 

This woman was absolutely livid that my hair wasn't chemically treated but instead all natural. She continued her rant for about three minutes and never once comprehended that I knew every word that she spoke. It hurt my feelings because it took me awhile to get use to the fact that I wouldn't be relaxing my hair anymore. 

I received my first relaxer at the age of 12 years old and it was because I asked for it, my own mother didn't want me to do it. But as a young teenager I wanted to do my own hair instead of having my mother do it all the time, and I knew it was hard for me to hot comb my own head (a method that uses a metal comb and fire), so I asked for a relaxer to make it manageable for myself. My mother agreed.

For seventeen years I relaxed my hair and managed my hair, than one day I ran across a hair documentary by comedian Chris Rock titled, Good Hair. As I watched this documentary I learned that relaxers aren't good for the hair, and that sodium hydroxide is a chemical that exists in most relaxers  and shouldn't be put anywhere near the scalp as it causes burns, hair loss, and permanent damage to the head. 

Comedian/actor Chris Rock took it a step further and had a scientist analyze and report this finding and to prove it, the scientist put an empty aluminum coke can inside a container of relaxer. After an hour the entire half of the coke can was completely disintegrated! And that was all I needed to see. My days of hair relaxing were OVER!

Afterwards I went and cut my hair short and waited for the rest of the relaxer to grow out. Dealing with my natural hair made me realize that there's nothing wrong with my hair, it just takes a little extra effort than if it were relaxed, but then again what's wrong with putting in the extra effort? 

When we aim to reach goals don't we have to put in effort to do it? This is how I began looking at my natural hair; it's full, curly, healthy, and most women with thin hair wish they can have a thick full mane like mine so why be ashamed of it? 

Sitting in the red-headed beautician's chair I looked in the mirror in front of me and fell in love with my natural hair all over again. But when I saw the scorned face expression of the Dominican beautician, I realized that she didn't share in my new found love of myself. She saw extra effort she had to put in to make my hair lay down. She even tried to pass me off to another beautician so she wouldn't have to do it, but the girl took one look at my hair and declined. 

The red-headed beautician not only talked shit about my hair while she was doing it, she showed me how much she detested my hair by constantly burning me with the blow dryer! After being burned about five different times I couldn't take it anymore and yelled out in Spanish to her, "Lo siento que yo no tengo un relaxer, pero mis interrupciones de pelo consigo! Lo siento!" 

In English this means, "I'm sorry I don't have a relaxer, but my hair breaks with it! I'm sorry!"

The beautician stopped and starred at me obviously shocked that I understood what she was saying about me. I heard her tell her beautician friend that I apologized in Spanish, to which her friend looked in disbelief and said, "No!" 

My red-headed beautician put her hand up to the ceiling as if to say I'm not lying while commenting, "Es verdad" (which means "is true").

After that whole scenario took place the red-headed beautician told me "it was okay," and she proceeded to finish my hair in silence and without burning me might I add. 

The ending result was what my hair would have looked like with a relaxer, only fuller and healthier. After she was done I paid for my hair at the front desk and gave my beautician a $15 dollar tip as a way of encouraging her to do more natural hair. She took the tip but didn't smile back. 

I walked out of the Dominican Unisex located at 413 Central Avenue, Newark, N.J. 07107, and decided that I would never return. The many years I came to this salon with my hair relaxed there was never a problem, but the moment I came in with natural hair I was treated as if I was an outcast, like I had a disability that couldn't be treated. 

Dominican shops boast about doing natural hair and knowing this made me feel that it wouldn't be an issue.There are many Black Dominicans with the same kind of hair, and with us both being minorities I assumed my hair wouldn't be a problem. Boy was I ever wrong!

In conclusion: I don't feel that I should have apologized to her for my hair being in it's natural state, but because she was purposely hurting me I felt I had no other choice. I view myself as a beautiful, natural, black woman who loves everything about myself even my hair. 

Beauty salons shouldn't make a woman feel that relaxers are the only way to be beautiful, and just because beauticians would rather not put in the extra effort to do all types of hair, they definitely shouldn't use foul language to put down a paying customer in front of their face. 

Black women have been degraded for centuries over having big kinky hair, big lips, big booties, big hips, high cheek bones etc. 

Black women have always been told that their blackness isn't beautiful and that we should conform to the European way of wearing our hair straight. In fact, it was a black slave that invented the relaxer as a way of making themselves seem presentable to their slave owners, and this kind of brainwashing has been prevalent throughout African American history. 

In the 21st century women of different races get tans to appear darker, botox to make their lips and cheeks fuller, and breast and butt implants to make them bigger like a black women. But it is only now in the 21st century that I began seeing more black women go natural, and become proud of their blackness again. 

My Dominican salon experience didn't make feel that my black wasn't beautiful, instead, it made me realize that my money can be better spent elsewhere.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

Watch the clip of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary. It changed my life! Thanks Chris!!

Nuns Want Mitt Romney On The Bus

Recently, the Nuns on the Bus campaign offered to have a sit down with Republican presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney. 

Sister Simone decided a meeting was absolutely necessary after she concluded that Governor Romney, didn't seem to comprehend the real struggles of average Americans. 

 Sister Simone Campbell (seen above) stated, 

"Recent advertisements and statements from the campaign of Governor Romney demonize families in poverty and reflect woeful ignorance about the challenges faced by tens of millions of American families in these tough economic times. 

We are all God's children and equal in God's eyes. Efforts to divide us by class or score political points at the expense of the most vulnerable of our brothers and sisters reveal the worst side of our country's politics."

I doubt Romney will accept the invitation but I'm reminded of something msnbc host of The Rachel Maddow Show said,

"I have one thing to say here personally, not as a TV show host here but just as a person who happens to be related to some nuns: don't mess with nuns. 

It's not a warning. It's not advice. It's not a threat. It's fact that I have learned from personal experience. Ask anybody in my family, if you mess with nuns, you will lose every time. You will always regret messing with nuns."

Mitt Romney better take note, but then again it would seem that the governor has already given up much of himself for the love of money, so the sisters may have a tougher time then they thought. It never hurts to try though.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

Mormons Protest Against The Mormon Church

   Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah

In the past 2 weeks hundreds of Mormon faith based individuals came together in a protest, to rightfully resign from the Mormon church. 

This protest took place in Salt Lake City, Utah, the stomping grounds of Mormonism. The resignation came in light of a defiant disagreement, over issues ranging from polygamy to same-sex marriage. 

The crowd gathered together to sign a "Declaration of Independence from Mormonism." 

After signing, the crowd yelled the word "Freedom" from the top of their lungs, while clapping, hugging and cheering. 

The Mormon church sells itself as the one "true" Christian faith, and its theology promises families eternal relationships among those who remain faithful, sealing those gifts through special religious rites. 

But one Mormon member wasn't so lucky to obtain this sacred promise of eternal relationships.

Peggie Hayes, had known the current Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, from the Mormon church. Ms. Hayes looked to the Mormon church for help when her family was struggling. 

Mr. Helman, the author of the book "The Real Romney" told Peggie Hayes' story as it was told to him,

"One of the things the Mormon church does not look kindly upon is single parenthood. 

There was a woman named Peggie Hayes who had known Romney when she was in his ward. She had come from a family which had had some struggles, had looked to Mormonism to anchor them. 

She had a child and then was pregnant with the second child. She was married when she had the first child and got divorced. So she was not married at the time. 

So Mitt Romney came to her apartment in the city of Somerville [in Massachusetts], and he delivers this message to her, which is, by her interpretation, fairly harsh. 

Which is: The church does not want you to keep this baby; the church thinks it would be better if your soon-to-be-born son would grow up in a family with two parents, so we think you should give the child up for adoption. 

And Peggie Hayes' first reaction is that she must have misheard something because she can't believe what he's asking her to do. But he continues, according to her, and in fact goes so far as to threaten her with excommunication — that she could be thrown out of the church, essentially, if she didn't follow the church's orders. 

This was a very distressing visit from her perspective. Romney later denied that he had threatened her with excommunication. But this was a profound moment for Peggie and part of the reason why she ended up leaving the church."

 The Official Flyer Handed Out For The Movement

Often I've heard scary stories from victims of the Mormon church. I was even told by ex-Mormons that the church is a cult and once you're sworn in, they make it difficult for you to get out. 

Never once did I pay as much attention to the Mormon church, as I currently do now since one is running for the presidency of the United States. 

The stories I'd hear always went in one ear and out the other, because I felt like it wasn't my religion and I never quite understood the culture. 

But now that there are hundreds if not thousands of Mormon members protesting against this particular faith, it has awaken my senses to learn more about this mysterious organization behind the current Republican presidential candidate. 

After all, if President Obama's religion could be criticized, publicized, and ridiculed beyond measure, I think it would behoove us to at least take a peak into Mitt Romney's religious practices, don't you?

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

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