In June I headed back home to my native state of New Jersey, to check on my grandmother who had fallen ill. While there I decided to make a visit to my all time favorite Dominican hair salon to get my ends trimmed however, I wasn't prepared for the "new" experience that awaited me.
I entered the Dominican Unisex hair salon and walked to the front desk, making the owner (a Dominican guy) aware of what type of hair care I required for the day. He didn't greet me with a smile but instead a look of annoyance, as I struggled to understand what he was saying above the music, blow dryers, and women chatting. This same man use to greet me with a smile for years when I came in for service, and I wasn't sure why today would be any different. "Maybe he had a bad day," I thought to myself.
Because I couldn't understand what he was saying eventually he just stopped talking and instead starred at me. After a minute he suggested I get a relaxer to which I told him that I didn't need a relaxer, and that I just needed a wash, blow out, and trim. I took my hair out of the bun it was in and he saw my length to price, and agreed that I didn't need a relaxer. Reiterating, I told him that relaxers break my hair so I stay far away from them.
After receiving my ticket which told the beauticians what to do, I was taken to the back of the salon to have my hair washed. At this point I'm super excited because I often enjoyed having my hair scrubbed and conditioned at this particular salon. I hadn't had my hair professionally done in so long that I was giddy to see the ending results.
After taking my seat at the wash chair and laying back comfortably, the washer proceeded to wash my hair. As she drenched my mane with water I felt my natural curls beginning to coil. She washed it three times and combed through it with no hesitation, and no issues with tangling.
After taking my seat at the wash chair and laying back comfortably, the washer proceeded to wash my hair. As she drenched my mane with water I felt my natural curls beginning to coil. She washed it three times and combed through it with no hesitation, and no issues with tangling.
A short red-headed Dominican beautician walked up to my chair, making me aware that she would be servicing me for the day. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing with her, but her smile faded quickly when she peered over the wash bowl to see my natural curly hair. Immediately, she began cursing in Spanish -- using the word "mala" meaning bad, and slang Spanish curse words that I learned growing up.
This woman was absolutely livid that my hair wasn't chemically treated but instead all natural. She continued her rant for about three minutes and never once comprehended that I knew every word that she spoke. It hurt my feelings because it took me awhile to get use to the fact that I wouldn't be relaxing my hair anymore.
I received my first relaxer at the age of 12 years old and it was because I asked for it, my own mother didn't want me to do it. But as a young teenager I wanted to do my own hair instead of having my mother do it all the time, and I knew it was hard for me to hot comb my own head (a method that uses a metal comb and fire), so I asked for a relaxer to make it manageable for myself. My mother agreed.
This woman was absolutely livid that my hair wasn't chemically treated but instead all natural. She continued her rant for about three minutes and never once comprehended that I knew every word that she spoke. It hurt my feelings because it took me awhile to get use to the fact that I wouldn't be relaxing my hair anymore.
I received my first relaxer at the age of 12 years old and it was because I asked for it, my own mother didn't want me to do it. But as a young teenager I wanted to do my own hair instead of having my mother do it all the time, and I knew it was hard for me to hot comb my own head (a method that uses a metal comb and fire), so I asked for a relaxer to make it manageable for myself. My mother agreed.
For seventeen years I relaxed my hair and managed my hair, than one day I ran across a hair documentary by comedian Chris Rock titled, Good Hair. As I watched this documentary I learned that relaxers aren't good for the hair, and that sodium hydroxide is a chemical that exists in most relaxers and shouldn't be put anywhere near the scalp as it causes burns, hair loss, and permanent damage to the head.
Comedian/actor Chris Rock took it a step further and had a scientist analyze and report this finding and to prove it, the scientist put an empty aluminum coke can inside a container of relaxer. After an hour the entire half of the coke can was completely disintegrated! And that was all I needed to see. My days of hair relaxing were OVER!
Comedian/actor Chris Rock took it a step further and had a scientist analyze and report this finding and to prove it, the scientist put an empty aluminum coke can inside a container of relaxer. After an hour the entire half of the coke can was completely disintegrated! And that was all I needed to see. My days of hair relaxing were OVER!
Afterwards I went and cut my hair short and waited for the rest of the relaxer to grow out. Dealing with my natural hair made me realize that there's nothing wrong with my hair, it just takes a little extra effort than if it were relaxed, but then again what's wrong with putting in the extra effort?
When we aim to reach goals don't we have to put in effort to do it? This is how I began looking at my natural hair; it's full, curly, healthy, and most women with thin hair wish they can have a thick full mane like mine so why be ashamed of it?
When we aim to reach goals don't we have to put in effort to do it? This is how I began looking at my natural hair; it's full, curly, healthy, and most women with thin hair wish they can have a thick full mane like mine so why be ashamed of it?
Sitting in the red-headed beautician's chair I looked in the mirror in front of me and fell in love with my natural hair all over again. But when I saw the scorned face expression of the Dominican beautician, I realized that she didn't share in my new found love of myself. She saw extra effort she had to put in to make my hair lay down. She even tried to pass me off to another beautician so she wouldn't have to do it, but the girl took one look at my hair and declined.
The red-headed beautician not only talked shit about my hair while she was doing it, she showed me how much she detested my hair by constantly burning me with the blow dryer! After being burned about five different times I couldn't take it anymore and yelled out in Spanish to her, "Lo siento que yo no tengo un relaxer, pero mis interrupciones de pelo consigo! Lo siento!"
In English this means, "I'm sorry I don't have a relaxer, but my hair breaks with it! I'm sorry!"
The red-headed beautician not only talked shit about my hair while she was doing it, she showed me how much she detested my hair by constantly burning me with the blow dryer! After being burned about five different times I couldn't take it anymore and yelled out in Spanish to her, "Lo siento que yo no tengo un relaxer, pero mis interrupciones de pelo consigo! Lo siento!"
In English this means, "I'm sorry I don't have a relaxer, but my hair breaks with it! I'm sorry!"
The beautician stopped and starred at me obviously shocked that I understood what she was saying about me. I heard her tell her beautician friend that I apologized in Spanish, to which her friend looked in disbelief and said, "No!"
My red-headed beautician put her hand up to the ceiling as if to say I'm not lying while commenting, "Es verdad" (which means "is true").
After that whole scenario took place the red-headed beautician told me "it was okay," and she proceeded to finish my hair in silence and without burning me might I add.
The ending result was what my hair would have looked like with a relaxer, only fuller and healthier. After she was done I paid for my hair at the front desk and gave my beautician a $15 dollar tip as a way of encouraging her to do more natural hair. She took the tip but didn't smile back.
I walked out of the Dominican Unisex located at 413 Central Avenue, Newark, N.J. 07107, and decided that I would never return. The many years I came to this salon with my hair relaxed there was never a problem, but the moment I came in with natural hair I was treated as if I was an outcast, like I had a disability that couldn't be treated.
Dominican shops boast about doing natural hair and knowing this made me feel that it wouldn't be an issue.There are many Black Dominicans with the same kind of hair, and with us both being minorities I assumed my hair wouldn't be a problem. Boy was I ever wrong!
My red-headed beautician put her hand up to the ceiling as if to say I'm not lying while commenting, "Es verdad" (which means "is true").
After that whole scenario took place the red-headed beautician told me "it was okay," and she proceeded to finish my hair in silence and without burning me might I add.
The ending result was what my hair would have looked like with a relaxer, only fuller and healthier. After she was done I paid for my hair at the front desk and gave my beautician a $15 dollar tip as a way of encouraging her to do more natural hair. She took the tip but didn't smile back.
I walked out of the Dominican Unisex located at 413 Central Avenue, Newark, N.J. 07107, and decided that I would never return. The many years I came to this salon with my hair relaxed there was never a problem, but the moment I came in with natural hair I was treated as if I was an outcast, like I had a disability that couldn't be treated.
Dominican shops boast about doing natural hair and knowing this made me feel that it wouldn't be an issue.There are many Black Dominicans with the same kind of hair, and with us both being minorities I assumed my hair wouldn't be a problem. Boy was I ever wrong!
In conclusion: I don't feel that I should have apologized to her for my hair being in it's natural state, but because she was purposely hurting me I felt I had no other choice. I view myself as a beautiful, natural, black woman who loves everything about myself even my hair.
Beauty salons shouldn't make a woman feel that relaxers are the only way to be beautiful, and just because beauticians would rather not put in the extra effort to do all types of hair, they definitely shouldn't use foul language to put down a paying customer in front of their face.
Black women have been degraded for centuries over having big kinky hair, big lips, big booties, big hips, high cheek bones etc.
Black women have always been told that their blackness isn't beautiful and that we should conform to the European way of wearing our hair straight. In fact, it was a black slave that invented the relaxer as a way of making themselves seem presentable to their slave owners, and this kind of brainwashing has been prevalent throughout African American history.
In the 21st century women of different races get tans to appear darker, botox to make their lips and cheeks fuller, and breast and butt implants to make them bigger like a black women. But it is only now in the 21st century that I began seeing more black women go natural, and become proud of their blackness again.
My Dominican salon experience didn't make feel that my black wasn't beautiful, instead, it made me realize that my money can be better spent elsewhere.
Beauty salons shouldn't make a woman feel that relaxers are the only way to be beautiful, and just because beauticians would rather not put in the extra effort to do all types of hair, they definitely shouldn't use foul language to put down a paying customer in front of their face.
Black women have been degraded for centuries over having big kinky hair, big lips, big booties, big hips, high cheek bones etc.
Black women have always been told that their blackness isn't beautiful and that we should conform to the European way of wearing our hair straight. In fact, it was a black slave that invented the relaxer as a way of making themselves seem presentable to their slave owners, and this kind of brainwashing has been prevalent throughout African American history.
In the 21st century women of different races get tans to appear darker, botox to make their lips and cheeks fuller, and breast and butt implants to make them bigger like a black women. But it is only now in the 21st century that I began seeing more black women go natural, and become proud of their blackness again.
My Dominican salon experience didn't make feel that my black wasn't beautiful, instead, it made me realize that my money can be better spent elsewhere.
The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...
2012 LA
Watch the clip of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary. It changed my life! Thanks Chris!!
