My Dominican Salon Natural Hair Horror Story

In June I headed back home to my native state of New Jersey, to check on my grandmother who had fallen ill. While there I decided to make a visit to my all time favorite Dominican hair salon to get my ends trimmed however, I wasn't prepared for the "new" experience that awaited me. 

I entered the Dominican Unisex hair salon and walked to the front desk, making the owner (a Dominican guy) aware of what type of hair care I required for the day. He didn't greet me with a smile but instead a look of annoyance, as I struggled to understand what he was saying above the music, blow dryers, and women chatting. This same man use to greet me with a smile for years when I came in for service, and I wasn't sure why today would be any different. "Maybe he had a bad day," I thought to myself. 

Because I couldn't understand what he was saying eventually he just stopped talking and instead starred at me. After a minute he suggested I get a relaxer to which I told him that I didn't need a relaxer, and that I just needed a wash, blow out, and trim. I took my hair out of the bun it was in and he saw my length to price, and agreed that I didn't need a relaxer. Reiterating, I told him that relaxers break my hair so I stay far away from them. 

After receiving my ticket which told the beauticians what to do, I was taken to the back of the salon to have my hair washed. At this point I'm super excited because I often enjoyed having my hair scrubbed  and conditioned at this particular salon. I hadn't had my hair professionally done in so long that I was giddy to see the ending results. 

After taking my seat at the wash chair and laying back comfortably, the washer proceeded to wash my hair. As she drenched my mane with water I felt my natural curls beginning to coil. She washed it three times and combed through it with no hesitation, and no issues with tangling.

A short red-headed Dominican beautician walked up to my chair, making me aware that she would be servicing me for the day. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing with her, but her smile faded quickly when she peered over the wash bowl to see my natural curly hair. Immediately, she began cursing in Spanish -- using the word "mala" meaning bad, and slang Spanish curse words that I learned growing up. 

This woman was absolutely livid that my hair wasn't chemically treated but instead all natural. She continued her rant for about three minutes and never once comprehended that I knew every word that she spoke. It hurt my feelings because it took me awhile to get use to the fact that I wouldn't be relaxing my hair anymore. 

I received my first relaxer at the age of 12 years old and it was because I asked for it, my own mother didn't want me to do it. But as a young teenager I wanted to do my own hair instead of having my mother do it all the time, and I knew it was hard for me to hot comb my own head (a method that uses a metal comb and fire), so I asked for a relaxer to make it manageable for myself. My mother agreed.

For seventeen years I relaxed my hair and managed my hair, than one day I ran across a hair documentary by comedian Chris Rock titled, Good Hair. As I watched this documentary I learned that relaxers aren't good for the hair, and that sodium hydroxide is a chemical that exists in most relaxers  and shouldn't be put anywhere near the scalp as it causes burns, hair loss, and permanent damage to the head. 

Comedian/actor Chris Rock took it a step further and had a scientist analyze and report this finding and to prove it, the scientist put an empty aluminum coke can inside a container of relaxer. After an hour the entire half of the coke can was completely disintegrated! And that was all I needed to see. My days of hair relaxing were OVER!

Afterwards I went and cut my hair short and waited for the rest of the relaxer to grow out. Dealing with my natural hair made me realize that there's nothing wrong with my hair, it just takes a little extra effort than if it were relaxed, but then again what's wrong with putting in the extra effort? 

When we aim to reach goals don't we have to put in effort to do it? This is how I began looking at my natural hair; it's full, curly, healthy, and most women with thin hair wish they can have a thick full mane like mine so why be ashamed of it? 

Sitting in the red-headed beautician's chair I looked in the mirror in front of me and fell in love with my natural hair all over again. But when I saw the scorned face expression of the Dominican beautician, I realized that she didn't share in my new found love of myself. She saw extra effort she had to put in to make my hair lay down. She even tried to pass me off to another beautician so she wouldn't have to do it, but the girl took one look at my hair and declined. 

The red-headed beautician not only talked shit about my hair while she was doing it, she showed me how much she detested my hair by constantly burning me with the blow dryer! After being burned about five different times I couldn't take it anymore and yelled out in Spanish to her, "Lo siento que yo no tengo un relaxer, pero mis interrupciones de pelo consigo! Lo siento!" 

In English this means, "I'm sorry I don't have a relaxer, but my hair breaks with it! I'm sorry!"

The beautician stopped and starred at me obviously shocked that I understood what she was saying about me. I heard her tell her beautician friend that I apologized in Spanish, to which her friend looked in disbelief and said, "No!" 

My red-headed beautician put her hand up to the ceiling as if to say I'm not lying while commenting, "Es verdad" (which means "is true").

After that whole scenario took place the red-headed beautician told me "it was okay," and she proceeded to finish my hair in silence and without burning me might I add. 

The ending result was what my hair would have looked like with a relaxer, only fuller and healthier. After she was done I paid for my hair at the front desk and gave my beautician a $15 dollar tip as a way of encouraging her to do more natural hair. She took the tip but didn't smile back. 

I walked out of the Dominican Unisex located at 413 Central Avenue, Newark, N.J. 07107, and decided that I would never return. The many years I came to this salon with my hair relaxed there was never a problem, but the moment I came in with natural hair I was treated as if I was an outcast, like I had a disability that couldn't be treated. 

Dominican shops boast about doing natural hair and knowing this made me feel that it wouldn't be an issue.There are many Black Dominicans with the same kind of hair, and with us both being minorities I assumed my hair wouldn't be a problem. Boy was I ever wrong!

In conclusion: I don't feel that I should have apologized to her for my hair being in it's natural state, but because she was purposely hurting me I felt I had no other choice. I view myself as a beautiful, natural, black woman who loves everything about myself even my hair. 

Beauty salons shouldn't make a woman feel that relaxers are the only way to be beautiful, and just because beauticians would rather not put in the extra effort to do all types of hair, they definitely shouldn't use foul language to put down a paying customer in front of their face. 

Black women have been degraded for centuries over having big kinky hair, big lips, big booties, big hips, high cheek bones etc. 

Black women have always been told that their blackness isn't beautiful and that we should conform to the European way of wearing our hair straight. In fact, it was a black slave that invented the relaxer as a way of making themselves seem presentable to their slave owners, and this kind of brainwashing has been prevalent throughout African American history. 

In the 21st century women of different races get tans to appear darker, botox to make their lips and cheeks fuller, and breast and butt implants to make them bigger like a black women. But it is only now in the 21st century that I began seeing more black women go natural, and become proud of their blackness again. 

My Dominican salon experience didn't make feel that my black wasn't beautiful, instead, it made me realize that my money can be better spent elsewhere.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

Watch the clip of Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary. It changed my life! Thanks Chris!!

Nuns Want Mitt Romney On The Bus

Recently, the Nuns on the Bus campaign offered to have a sit down with Republican presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney. 

Sister Simone decided a meeting was absolutely necessary after she concluded that Governor Romney, didn't seem to comprehend the real struggles of average Americans. 

 Sister Simone Campbell (seen above) stated, 

"Recent advertisements and statements from the campaign of Governor Romney demonize families in poverty and reflect woeful ignorance about the challenges faced by tens of millions of American families in these tough economic times. 

We are all God's children and equal in God's eyes. Efforts to divide us by class or score political points at the expense of the most vulnerable of our brothers and sisters reveal the worst side of our country's politics."

I doubt Romney will accept the invitation but I'm reminded of something msnbc host of The Rachel Maddow Show said,

"I have one thing to say here personally, not as a TV show host here but just as a person who happens to be related to some nuns: don't mess with nuns. 

It's not a warning. It's not advice. It's not a threat. It's fact that I have learned from personal experience. Ask anybody in my family, if you mess with nuns, you will lose every time. You will always regret messing with nuns."

Mitt Romney better take note, but then again it would seem that the governor has already given up much of himself for the love of money, so the sisters may have a tougher time then they thought. It never hurts to try though.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

Mormons Protest Against The Mormon Church

   Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah

In the past 2 weeks hundreds of Mormon faith based individuals came together in a protest, to rightfully resign from the Mormon church. 

This protest took place in Salt Lake City, Utah, the stomping grounds of Mormonism. The resignation came in light of a defiant disagreement, over issues ranging from polygamy to same-sex marriage. 

The crowd gathered together to sign a "Declaration of Independence from Mormonism." 

After signing, the crowd yelled the word "Freedom" from the top of their lungs, while clapping, hugging and cheering. 

The Mormon church sells itself as the one "true" Christian faith, and its theology promises families eternal relationships among those who remain faithful, sealing those gifts through special religious rites. 

But one Mormon member wasn't so lucky to obtain this sacred promise of eternal relationships.

Peggie Hayes, had known the current Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, from the Mormon church. Ms. Hayes looked to the Mormon church for help when her family was struggling. 

Mr. Helman, the author of the book "The Real Romney" told Peggie Hayes' story as it was told to him,

"One of the things the Mormon church does not look kindly upon is single parenthood. 

There was a woman named Peggie Hayes who had known Romney when she was in his ward. She had come from a family which had had some struggles, had looked to Mormonism to anchor them. 

She had a child and then was pregnant with the second child. She was married when she had the first child and got divorced. So she was not married at the time. 

So Mitt Romney came to her apartment in the city of Somerville [in Massachusetts], and he delivers this message to her, which is, by her interpretation, fairly harsh. 

Which is: The church does not want you to keep this baby; the church thinks it would be better if your soon-to-be-born son would grow up in a family with two parents, so we think you should give the child up for adoption. 

And Peggie Hayes' first reaction is that she must have misheard something because she can't believe what he's asking her to do. But he continues, according to her, and in fact goes so far as to threaten her with excommunication — that she could be thrown out of the church, essentially, if she didn't follow the church's orders. 

This was a very distressing visit from her perspective. Romney later denied that he had threatened her with excommunication. But this was a profound moment for Peggie and part of the reason why she ended up leaving the church."

 The Official Flyer Handed Out For The Movement

Often I've heard scary stories from victims of the Mormon church. I was even told by ex-Mormons that the church is a cult and once you're sworn in, they make it difficult for you to get out. 

Never once did I pay as much attention to the Mormon church, as I currently do now since one is running for the presidency of the United States. 

The stories I'd hear always went in one ear and out the other, because I felt like it wasn't my religion and I never quite understood the culture. 

But now that there are hundreds if not thousands of Mormon members protesting against this particular faith, it has awaken my senses to learn more about this mysterious organization behind the current Republican presidential candidate. 

After all, if President Obama's religion could be criticized, publicized, and ridiculed beyond measure, I think it would behoove us to at least take a peak into Mitt Romney's religious practices, don't you?

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm...

2012 LA

For more information click here. 

How Old Are We Really?

When a woman finds out she's pregnant, the doctor calculates her pregnancy starting from the first day of her last menstrual cycle, meaning she would already be one month pregnant even though she had just conceived.

A woman carries a baby for 9 months, or technically 8 months if you don't count back to her last menstrual cycle. 

When a woman gives birth, that day signifies the baby's born day or birth day, and a count down begins until the baby's first born day anniversary the following year. 

But if when a woman first conceives she's already one month pregnant, and if she carries a baby for 9 months -- when the baby is born shouldn't the baby technically be 10 months old already? 

If the baby has been living all this time in our bellies, why wouldn't we count the child's birthday from a woman's last menstrual cycle?

And couldn't babies learn a lot faster if we spoke to them like adults, and taught them things from the time their born, instead of using baby goo goo ga ga talk? 

And by using baby talk, are we only slowing down our child's learning progress?

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

2012 LA

Senior Citizen 'Youtube' Web Sensation!

Mississippi Man Killed For Being Black

Earlier this month in Jackson, Mississippi, an African American man by the name of James Craig Anderson (seen above-l) age 49 years old, lost his life to an ignorant and racist act. 

A White teenager by the name of Deryl Dedmon (seen above-r), used his Ford F250 pickup truck to run over and kill Mr. Anderson. 

This horrible incident was caught on a department stores parking lot video camera surveillance, and thank goodness it was! Which is why I'm having trouble understanding why this young man is even having a trial? 

He and his friends were caught red-handed on tape brutally beating and then murdering a human being, all while chanting racial epithets of "White Power" according to witnesses. 

Why is there a need to prove the case, when the courts already have hard core evidence to put Deryl Dedmon under the jail?

"This was a crime of hate", Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith, told CNN in a report aired Sunday. "The evidence will show that." 

The two 18 year old's drove 15 miles to Jackson, in search of a black man to attack, prosecutors said. 

At least five other teens are believed to have acted with Deryl Dedmon, but so far none have been charged.

On a Face book page set up by Dedmon’s supporters the teen’s great aunt said, “He is not a racist or a murderer…. If anything, he is being tried by the media, suffering from reverse racism and placed in jail without bond. I am sick of the race card.”

The aunt of Mr. Dedmon must be delusional as her nephew beat and ran over a human being with his truck until he was dead simply because he was Black, how is that not racism? 

While killing Mr. Anderson, witnesses confessed to hearing Mr. Dedmon along with his friends yelling racial slurs while carrying out their killing spree, so his aunt's opinion appears to be irrelevant. 

Why should the media be blamed for covering national news, and making all aware that the state of Mississippi hasn't changed much since the Emmet Till days? 

Honestly, if the great aunt is crying out that her nephew is innocent of these crimes, then it only makes it more obvious where his ideology comes from.

All children born into this world are completely ignorant. They know nothing until it is taught to them, like a computer that is programmed to act a certain way. So when you have a bunch of racist people having babies, what do you think those innocent children are going to learn growing up in a house like that? The children have no choice but to become a product of their environment, unless they seek to educate themselves outside of the madness.

I've traveled through the state of Mississippi once before, and I'll gladly confess that it's a state I never want to go back too. My spouse and I were lost and needed directions to get back to the highway, so we walked into a store that looked like a run down shack. The town was small, and there were only dirt roads; no sidewalks. 

We entered the store smiling as we always do, but we were met with frowns. Immediately, the cashier ducked underneath the counter -- literally. As we looked in the other workers direction for assistance, she stood in complete shock as if she saw a ghost and then turned her back to us without a word. 

We asked for directions to get back to the highway, and the cashier directed us all while hiding beneath the counter -- never once did we make eye contact. 

My spouse and I couldn't come up with any other reason of why we were treated so poorly, other than the fact that we were black in Mississippi.

This story is very much true and is testimony to how racist people can be, especially in the state of Mississippi. There's a lot of work to be done with people in the Southern states,  who still live as if slavery was never abolished. 

With that said we should start with justice for James Craig Anderson, a man who did nothing wrong but was made an example out of for all the world to see, that racism is alive and well in 2011.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

2011 LA

North Carolina Women Sterilized After Birth Without Knowing

Elaine Riddick is just one out of 7,600 victims that were sterilized in the state of North Carolina without knowing. 

At the age of 14 years old the state of North Carolina, deemed Ms. Riddick unfit to have any more children. She became pregnant after being raped by her neighbor who was ten years her senior, and when the time came to deliver her baby through a cesarean section -- unbeknownst to her the doctors sterilized her.

The state of North Carolina claimed they sterilized Ms. Riddick, due to her being mentally deficient or “feeble-minded” as official records note. 

Riddick, along with an estimated 2,000 victims of North Carolina’s forced sterilization program will have to wait until February of 2012, to find out whether they’ll be compensated or not.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

2011 LA

Watch the video below to see what these victims endured.

Customer Service Humor Quote...

If you can master the art of dealing with customer's emotions (seen above), then you should earn the medical degree of a therapist.

The Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

2010 LA